Married 17 years

on sunday we had our 17th anniversary. it feels entirely weird as i reflect and realize that i have been married the bulk of my adulthood. we did not do anything fancy, no going out to eat, no weekend trip, no gifts exchanged. in the past we have done at least one of the above mentioned. steve did say that he kind of forgot (regarding a gift), but i enlightened him that he had already promised that we could have a family picture taken soon (something both he and nathan are not thrilled about). and after the week we all had, everyone in different directions and steve driving to austin to bring me home...well that was enough for both of us this year.

i have to say that i really love steve and have moments in my life where we connect extra good. i have had a hard time the last couple of weeks in regards to going to church. i have good days and bad, but sometimes my life plans take over my emotions and l am left doing the woe is me. i had to leave church early sunday as this was one of those days. i could not stay any longer and look at all the beautiful children at church. i just fell into the mode of my life not being as planned. i am so grateful for the son that we do have...but it does not replace the longing and deep feeling that our family has never been completed. anyways, i came home with tears in my eyes as steve was surprised to see us so soon (he had to stay home for work). i briefly explained that i did not want to ruin the day by the one trial that has plagued our marriage. he new what i was talking about and took me in his arms and said well lets go make a baby then...i couldn't help but laugh since we both know it is not that simple. i made him take me shopping instead. i know...what sinners we are, but it distracted me for a bit.

steve and i have had plenty of good and more than our share of bad and rough patches together. we have grown up together and have helped each other grow. i am proud of the man he has become. steve cares deeply about his family and the community that he serves at work. i have learned many things from my husband as i believe he has learned a lot from me. we are opposites, but are able to balance each other out pretty well when we want. i continue to look forward to our lives together and the many adventures and (hopefully not too many more huge trials) to come. i just want to say that i love him deeply and that he is truly my best friend!