Leaving the thirties behind

It is now time to part ways with another decade of my life. Gone are the thirties and hello to a new beginning with the forties. Only a short couple of hours away. Once upon a time {ugh} forty would have seemed so old. Now I see it with a different set of eyes. I am not afraid. I am trying to not look back with much regret, but with the ability to relish the memories. However, definitely wishing that I had had the wisdom to which I now possess.

It is easy to say that my thirties were...what many might say...a wild ride. Gaining a career, moving to Texas, raising my son, infertility, having four beautiful girls come and go from our life, years of a spouse in school, a relationship that has been tested more than I can say, and lastly losing myself along the way.

My health is good (I am more fit than I have been in years) and I don't think I look all that bad. I am ready to see what this next chapter will bring. Maybe that last line was a little lie {sigh}. I am not ready to set my son free and be left without his daily presence. I am totally clueless to what I will do with having a quiet and lonely home. I do not know who I am or how to bring that person back once more.

The only thing that I am confident about is the clock is not stopping and time goes more quickly than we usually want. When one day I awoke only to wonder like the verse from a Talking Heads song..."you may ask yourself, well how did I get here?"  And quietly ask myself...where am I now going.