Saturday, April 18, 2009

Spring is in the air

It has been a long time since I have truly felt spring in my heart. Actually, the day that my joy for spring ended was June 1, 2007. This was the most sad day I have ever experienced...our beautiful sweet little Miranda left our lives forever....and when Miranda did my joy for gardening. Over the past two years I tried to regain some sort of control over the planter issue and it was just impossible. I guess it was some sort of long mourning and self torture?
Hunter picked out these beautiful colors to go around the tree in the front yard
I am amazed at how my green little plants are growing. Just two weeks ago they were tiny little sprigs. They are adapting to our crazy Texas weather nicely.
Fast forward two years....I began to feel the need to bring spring back into my life and yard. I awoke one morning a couple of weeks ago and decided that it was time to shop for flowers and plants. I asked Hunter the week before if she would help me pull weeds and plant new flowers. She happily said yes. I am lucky to have such an awesome niece!
Over the past week or so, I have been able to walk out back and have nothing but fond memories of my days with Miranda. I can vividly see my pretty little girl sitting on her blanket in her pink hat and pulling the grass. I am truly amazed at how I fell so in love with a little human being that was only in our lives for five months. I do not think I will ever get over my love for Miranda....but I now know that I have to move on and give my love to someone or something else.
I am content and hopeful at this my front yard is blooming, I will be planning how to bring my backyard back to life! Happy Spring and may you feel it in your heart too.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

A Much Needed 2 Minute Call

I awoke today to a beautiful warm and sunny morning. Off to a good start and then a quick change of mood. I have been overall happy and just trying to keep busy....then every once in awhile I have a step back. I had a poor is me hour or so. The tears welled up and the flow of water would not stop. I found myself falling to my knees and pleading with my Heavenly Father to help me understand my life and purpose. I cried and asked why my journey to adoption has been so long and difficult? After all, I know so many who have had a much easier time. I pleaded to let some good come our way. To make this journey of foster care and adoption easier....and possibly end with a happy note. Today, we had to retake our yearly behavior management coarse. I think these are a joke, after having raised a good son for nearly sixteen years. On top of the fact that our luck is soooo bad. None the less, we went and sat through the class. We are now current on everything due for awhile. To my surprise, I had a voice message on my phone from Miss K. I promptly returned her call and we spoke for about 2-3 minutes. Then I heard her mother enter the room and Miss K had to abruptly hang up. I am guessing that she may have called without moms permission. She told me that she loved me, received her photo album and I was able to tell her that I loved her and that she could call whenever she wanted. Although, this was not the call or the news that could fix our desires (for adding to the family) prayers were answered today by the fact that I received Kalista's phone call. This was a very nice blessing!