Thursday, January 29, 2009

I've been photo tagged

I was tagged and instructed to post the 6th photo from my 6th folder. well my 6th folder contained one pic of a dresser. i went to the 7th folder and 7th picture...this was my neice hunter and i making homemade rolls for thanksgiving. what beauties we are!!! well, at least hunter is.

so i am going to tag the following:


Thursday, January 22, 2009

Climbing out of a hole

I had taken a break from blogging ....well actually life over the past couple of months. I have been wanting to put down some personal feelings...a form of personal therapy and maybe a way of providing support for someone out there also in need.

The saying goes that when one falls into a deep sadness; that eventually they will hit a bottom. And it is not until they realize they hit the bottom, will they find their way out. It does not matter if depression is a chemical imbalance or an effect from life situations. What is important is climbing your way out and being able to rediscover the joys and adventures of this one life that we have.

I hit my bottom. It came after K left our home (foster care has been hard on my heart). I had a deep sadness for the second child that we have not been blessed to bring into our lives. My wonderful son decided to hit teenage hormones head on and show a side I had never seen (and was not prepared for). S and I were at each others throats over just about everything...and to top it off, after 10+ years of trying to get pregnant, we thought we were and then....well after about six weeks we weren't. Life became hard to bear.

I am not quite sure what triggered my turning point...but it does not really matter anyway. I found myself ready to move on. I did not want to sleep and cry my life away any longer. I wish that I could say that I did it without the help of meds....but I believe Heavenly Father put some stuff on this earth for a purpose. I was then able to focus on finding myself again.

So lets jump to the present...I have come to a turning point i. I now realize that the events and circumstances that have occurred will always be with me. They are apart of me and therefore in my history. In essence, they have contributed to who I am now. I can look at it as a positive or negative. I can also choose to put some of them in the back part of my memory (and quite frankly, that is where a few need to be placed).

I am now able to see that I have been blessed in a variety of ways. I have Nathaniel in my life and he has allowed me the joys of motherhood. I realize that I am a good mother. I have welcomed four foster daughters into our lives and loved them as if they were my own. I am blessed to have a husband that I am still in love with as we will be approaching 18 years of marriage. I am fortunate to have a career where I choose when I work and help make the money that our family needs.

I have found myself doing things that I said that I would never do. I accepted a calling (volunteer position) at church after turning it down two other times in the past. Who would have thought that being a nursery leader would be a source of medicine. I watch my nephew Axel weekly and actually look forward to it. I have energy again and a desire to pick up old hobbies. I have even enjoyed rediscovering friendships on I owe Steve another apology. I am actually hoping another foster child could possibly into our lives again (this one is a dangerous subject).

I know that there will still be ups and downs. I do not promise that the tears will not flow hard as Nathaniel leaves our nest in a few years. I do have hope that the deep sadness will never return. I want to be able to grow old, be able to reflect back over my life and say that it was a good life!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Our future..Our new President

the presidential topic is always a hot button with some. i have remained quiet on the topic with most. i have not read the inaugural speech too in depth yet...but have liked much of what i have heard and read. i am one that agrees our country needs change and will support our president as an obligation to my country.

i must say that i like one line in particular that President Obama said during his speech...."Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America".

i believe that President Obama has inherited many problems and that our country is in for a bumpy ride.....with this i say Mr President...please fulfill your promises, hopes and dreams for our country. help us to get back on track for our kids and future generations to come.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

the meaning behind a name- KELLY

I had not initiated a post for the new year yet. I saw this on an old friends site and thought what a better way to start off 2009! You Are Smart and Curious
You are a seeker of knowledge, and you have learned many things in your life.
You are also a keeper of knowledge - meaning you don't spill secrets or spread gossip.
People sometimes think you're snobby or aloof, but you're just too deep in thought to pay attention to them.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.
You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.
Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.
You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.
You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care.