Monday, September 27, 2010

Swim Team and our Boat

It is homecoming time again and this year the weather decided to cooperate with us and let everyone enjoy a beautiful day. Last year it was an utter downpour. One of the swim dads (and a friend of mine) offered up his boat this year and it worked out fantastic

one of the favorite sayings for the swimmers

Bailey had the creative idea to tye dye balloons

Olivia, Bailey and Laurie

Nate, Pam and Alex manning the boat

Nate helping with finishing up the decor

 Carissa, Lori and Athena 
(sorry twins if I have it backwards)


Two of our divers Teagan and Whit

Friday, September 17, 2010

Headed in the right direction?

photo credit

Tonight, after eating a scrumptious bowl of Pad Thai, I cracked open my fortune cookie with a fortune that read: "You do not have to know where you are going to be headed in the right direction".

Food for thought with all the events going on in my life and household at this time.

I finished my second week at my new job. It has been refreshing going to a place of employment where there is no stress and or wondering of "what ifs" upon arriving home. People smile and one another out....and genuinely want to be there. This is something that I am not accustomed to. BUT getting used to quite well. I have actually adapted to getting up early better easier than I thought. 

As I have become a "Target"  or in other words "the next one on the firing list", at my hospital job (to which I have had for over five years now)....I feel nothing but anxiety looming in my chest at the thought of returning to fulfill my monthly commitment. How is one supposed to provide good care when she is so worried about who is watching and saying what. I am almost positive that I can not return at this time.

I have been so nervous about the gigantic paycut and less hours that I have now been working. Trying to remain positive as I ride out the storm for the next few months. As I begin to question my decision, the Lord makes it very apparent to me as to why I need to be here at this time.

My home life is full of dysfunction at this time. Many things that are completely out of my control. Leaving me feeling more than overwhelmed and at a loss to what I am supposed to do. Some parts of my life that are so full of hurt and concern that it runs into multiple areas of the home. I never imagined that I would be like a married-single mom. Enough said there. 

Then there are the normal life changes that are difficult for almost any mom. A child that is just shy of adulthood and testing the waters to how far one will let him go. A young adult craving independence, but now making choices that show parental guidance and reminding is still needed. A kid caught between two very different parenting approaches and visibly struggling a bit by it now. 

Approaching forty and not sure where I am quite headed. Trying to savor the moments of Nathans senior year and some of the new things that he has started doing. Wishing other areas of my life were like they were supposed to be. Full of concern and trying not to have too much regret. 

Is my fortune something that is true?

Am I headed in the right direction?

Because I definitely don't know where I am going.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

More floor Deconstruction

About this time last year, my dad and I laid laminate in my house. And then for the last year, we lived with the kitchen, bath and laundry room unfinished. My talented dad, has been honing in on his tiling skills, and now they will soon be used in our house. I can not wait to have all the floors done!!!

Dad using some handy gadget from the DEPOT to remove the hideous linoleum

Dad had to do the majority of this dirty deed....while I had to protect the lungs

I got to do the sweeping and mopping of the concrete in the kitchen, both bathrooms and the laundry room. And now it is a hunt for some very inexpensive tile that will fit my BMW taste.

Monday, September 13, 2010

And the verdict is...

Nathans day at Teen Court finally arrived this evening. We arrived early with him dressed properly to face the judge. I listened to Nathan talk all the way over about how he was hoping to plea bargain his hours down. Having had his experience from volunteering as a peer attorney some time back, he was feeling a little cocky. But he was also a little leary since his ticket occurred in North Richland Hills. They have a horrible reputation of putting it to the kids.

As we waited in the court room, we patiently waited while quietly laughing at how goofy the attorneys looked. I know as a mother that this is not nice, but seriously, I would not let my kid out of the house looking like them. I was also looking around at each kid, secretly wondering what the offenses were. Nathan had never wanted me in the court room back in the day and I was looking forward to seeing the kids at work.

This was not to be....Nathan was called into a side room by an adult. And then he comes out with a big grin on his face only to announce to me....

"They said that they were too busy tonight and they were sending me home with the minimum of 10 hours community service."

I should be happy for him, however, I was not wanting this to be so easy for him. Oh well, he still has to perform his community service hours and for those who know Nathan, know that this just may be shear torture.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Its ZUMBA time

courtesy of zumba power

This morning I went to my first Zumba class. I found this class to be a little easier than the cardio-kickboxing that I attended a couple of weeks ago. I have come to the conclusion though, that one should really be coordinated for these classes. I had always thought that I had a little coordination on my side...{hmmm}. Fortunately, I was not the only one that missed a few steps. 

I ran into a friend there and she had me right in front for all to see. Again, sorry folks for having to watch that. However, it is easier to learn the steps being in the front. And the front is where I will probably be at the next class.

I have come to the conclusion, that it does not matter your body size and shape. One is either limber and in shape or not. I am at a little disgust at the moment at how out of shape my body has become over the past year. I am trying to be motivated and I have great expectations in my head for how I should be....{sigh}. me to stay motivated....PLEASE!

Friday, September 10, 2010

Sneak Peek-Mum making is done

Sneak peek to the two we made for Nathans and Isaac's dates
For those of you who do not live in Texas (maybe the South....I'm not quite sure), homecoming mums are a tradition. You can get anywhere from a small single mum all the way to a large triple mum. Some girls are happy with simple ones and to other girls the fuller, blingier the better. Some will parade them around cute while others will wear them like a sash. Most of the time, they are as big as the girls and you wonder how they don't tumble over.

Kim (Pam's mom) giving a sneak peek to Nathans
Now don't think that the boys are left out. They are not. The guys wear decorated garters on their upper arms.

Now this is a racket for the crafting industry. So wish I would have been the one to come up with the idea. Can you say CHA CHING CHA CHING! If the kids are to purchase them at school, the small ones start out  around $75.00. The highest priced one that I saw at Michael's Crafts was about $275.00.

I set up a mum making get together with a few friends to save some moola. I bought supplies to make two 3 1/2 ft mums. I spent somewhere around $100.00 for both.  Now I thought that I was being clever and had purchased my supplies early. Only to realize that I bought the supplies for an under classman and had to return everything for the senior silver and white.

Mom (Kim) showing off the one for Isaac
I had offered to make one of Nathans friends his to help save him some money. Mom thought the idea was neat so I enlisted her help. I am not quite sure she enjoyed it in the end. And then some of the ribbons and trinkets fell off and I had to redo it.....Lets say two large mums is too much for me. Sadly, Becky was unable to make it or I would have a picture of a large three mum.

the top part or the mum itself
This is the top to the ones that I made. Bears tend to be the typical item placed in the center. You can do other things instead, for example, Becky was placing a hat and some miniature mums on hers. Personal creativity is the key. I just happen to know that Pam will like the bear.

The one on the left is the one Nathan is giving to Pam. I may add some more silver stars to the bear. The one on the right is Isaac's that he will give to his girlfriend Brittany. She had requested light pastel green ribbon (not at all the theme or school colors), so I think that I will change out the white bow that the bear is holding for her request.

I am excited for homecoming, glad that Nathan has a date and hope that both the girls like them. I labored today to finish them and I am now officially mummed out.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Do I have a screw loose or is it all coming together-Part two

This week I started a new job. A job where you don't take home your worries from the day. An environment where all the employees are friendly and team work is just something that they all do. In other words, a stress free place to work. 

This job was totally unplanned; as the opportunity sprung upon me last week so quick that I did not have time to contemplate the decision I had made. I mean a few weeks ago, I would never had considered a job with such a cut in pay. And felt good about it. Well, I have some anxiety about the money, but I have a deep inner feeling that this was meant to be at this time in my life.

Wednesday, we had a heck of a tropical storm come through. More rain than we have had in some time. While at work, we watched a creek overflow into the streets. The storm led to street and school closures. It was quite a site to the eyes. I was a bit bummed that I did not have my camera at work so I could   capture the day.

A fine day I was having. I had spoke with Nathan early in the day and was relieved to hear that there was no drama at swim. Steve had swam his way to work safely; and I was quickly learning my new nursing duties. 

What a great day and then....

I received a call from my manager at the hospital. Not a good sign and my instinct was correct.  I was informed that I am to be reprimanded for the care I gave a patient a couple shifts back. It is too long of a saga to go into and quite frankly irritates me to my core. Maybe I will go into this at a later time.

Yesterday evening, I removed our broken front door handle (it broke a month ago) and replaced it with a new one. Piece by piece...with a little sweat and went together. 

I am now thinking with all of the turmoil of August and the start of September...That maybe all of these events are coming together for a particular reason. The reason has yet to be disclosed.

I am going to be working more days but probably less hours. The decrease in pay will be very noticeable. But the stress should be less. I will be home every night to lovingly bother my son. Hopefully to remind him to be the best he can be. Maybe these pieces of life will lead to harmony in another very important area in my life. Or maybe I am just reading a little too deep into this.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Do I have a screw loose or is it all coming together-Part one

So much has gone on in our lives and household the past two weeks. I feel a little out of whack or broken to say to the least. 

A week ago, this past Monday, Nathan was hit in the school parking lot. The young girl in her rice burner slammed into Nathaniel's sweet Nova at a speed estimated close to 35 mph. Unfortunately for Nathan, the "rule of the road" ....which might I add....does not always make sense....has worked against him. The insurance companies placed 80% of the blame on him.....ARGH! And if that was not bad enough, we had to fight our insurance company to look at all the details (which benefited us) and we went a week with the other family threatening to sue us even further.

The Hyundai hit his piece of steel so hard that the Nova was pushed a foot or so and continued the damage down the side of her car. Now I say that the "rule of  the road" is not always good as the adjusters informed us that was the only reason the decision was not reversed.

Other than Nathans pride, a lot of body damage that is going to cost time and money, and inconvenience....we are moving past this.

Thinking the accident had to be the end to the September drama left me totally wrong.

Nathan decided that he did not like that swim practice two days a week went 30 minutes longer. Not that I can blame him...I would not want to shower at the pool before school. He decided to leave early two days, which lead to a call from the coach telling me how disrespectful he is and that disciplinary action or removal from the team may be necessary.

I am sorry but it is all that I can do to keep it together at this point.

There was a little relaxation that did take place with some homecoming mum making. However, that can not be revealed until later in the month.

And this leaves me with last week ending and the start of a new one....

Friday, September 3, 2010

Change: not in the plan

A few years back, I had the years ahead of me all planned out. My life was finally going to go the way which I had planned and hoped. I had a good job...making great money...and had all the flexibility a mother could want (for a working mom that is). LIFE...was turning out how I had hoped all the years prior.

Or so I had thought.

What I did not see during this journey of time; was that this life I had dreamed about, would only be lived for a short period.

My daughters (four in total) would come and go. Touching a part of my soul that only those close to me would know. This time, was shear bliss...a dream come true. 

A short period of time that was only to be that...a short time. To this day, I secretly question why this had to be.

I compensated though. Throwing myself fully into my sons life. Determined to not have anymore regrets as a mother. Afterall, he would still be here for a couple more years. I still had the good job...great money...and flexibility. Very few activities I would miss.

Then, the last six months happened. More sadness and confusion entered my life. Desperation becoming a sensation felt deep within. Wrong choices continuing to be made by someone very important to me. Age approaching all in the house, leading to more fear and increased lack of control. A growing dissatisfaction with the good...great paying...flexible job added to the mix.

I was fighting against too many issues. All in the name of trying to keep part of my plan intact. 

Then, a couple of weeks ago, I realized some serious change needed to occur. If not for anyone but for me. I am comfortable in routine. Not a real fan of major change. But the feeling was becoming strong, as I awoke one morning, with the calmness that this was the time. And after this weeks events...I am even more convinced.

Last Sunday, I reconnected with an acquaintance from a couple of years back. It lead to a "are you interested in coming to work here". To a call from the hiring manager and an interview two days later. With the interview concluding with a "Can you fill out this application as a formality. But I will not be calling anyone on it". WOW.

Now this job was definitely not  part of my plan. I will have to work more days than I have had to in, well, about six years. The hours are what many would refer to as NORMAL. Something that I am not accustomed too. Then there is the big issue of the HUGE pay cut that I agreed to. my son is a senior...and costs are atrocious. And yet, I still feel good.

Yes...change is coming....and it was not in my most of my life has been.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Wednesday Rambles; not sure where to begin

I love reading Screwed UpTexan's daily posts, but I especially get a kick out of her Wednesday Rambles, from whom the idea came from CrazyTexasMommy.

I often have many things to which I want to say....and quite frankly...I don't always want to worry about grammar and such. So here goes the rants:

  • I've been seriously thinking about getting into the twitter thing lately
  • Not quite sure as I a hear all about the "twitter etiquette" 
  • Kinda thinking that I just don't want to worry about anymore etiquette
  • School is back into full swing and I find myself with a BIG pit in my stomach
  • Husband decided that school two nights a week wasn't enough; so he signed up for a third
  • Son is in his last year of school....who needs to be home anyways
  • Nothing like a father-son graduation month....SON gets priority
  • But I do love my husband and his efforts to be done
  • Wiping butts and dealing with junkies is just not my thing lately
  • I wonder how big of a pay cut we can handle?
  • Snotty teenage girl rammed her rice burner into sons sweet classic car. Who do you think insurance will blame {sarcasm}
  • Maybe he can sublet his senior parking spot 
  • Husband says August was possibly the worst month of his life...he may just be right.
  • Been up for over 24 hours now and starting to feel it...and writing probably shows it.
Not a very long post, but feels good to join the Wednesday Rambles and get this stuff off my chest.

 Seriously, if you have a hookup with GOOD Karma; feel free to send it our way.