Friday, September 3, 2010

Change: not in the plan

A few years back, I had the years ahead of me all planned out. My life was finally going to go the way which I had planned and hoped. I had a good job...making great money...and had all the flexibility a mother could want (for a working mom that is). LIFE...was turning out how I had hoped all the years prior.

Or so I had thought.

What I did not see during this journey of time; was that this life I had dreamed about, would only be lived for a short period.

My daughters (four in total) would come and go. Touching a part of my soul that only those close to me would know. This time, was shear bliss...a dream come true. 

A short period of time that was only to be that...a short time. To this day, I secretly question why this had to be.

I compensated though. Throwing myself fully into my sons life. Determined to not have anymore regrets as a mother. Afterall, he would still be here for a couple more years. I still had the good job...great money...and flexibility. Very few activities I would miss.

Then, the last six months happened. More sadness and confusion entered my life. Desperation becoming a sensation felt deep within. Wrong choices continuing to be made by someone very important to me. Age approaching all in the house, leading to more fear and increased lack of control. A growing dissatisfaction with the good...great paying...flexible job added to the mix.

I was fighting against too many issues. All in the name of trying to keep part of my plan intact. 

Then, a couple of weeks ago, I realized some serious change needed to occur. If not for anyone but for me. I am comfortable in routine. Not a real fan of major change. But the feeling was becoming strong, as I awoke one morning, with the calmness that this was the time. And after this weeks events...I am even more convinced.

Last Sunday, I reconnected with an acquaintance from a couple of years back. It lead to a "are you interested in coming to work here". To a call from the hiring manager and an interview two days later. With the interview concluding with a "Can you fill out this application as a formality. But I will not be calling anyone on it". WOW.

Now this job was definitely not  part of my plan. I will have to work more days than I have had to in, well, about six years. The hours are what many would refer to as NORMAL. Something that I am not accustomed too. Then there is the big issue of the HUGE pay cut that I agreed to. my son is a senior...and costs are atrocious. And yet, I still feel good.

Yes...change is coming....and it was not in my most of my life has been.


  1. Good post, I can certainly relate to your experiences. Change is hard; I've fought it kicking and screaming all my life! Yet, when I look back, I realize the changes led me to a new place, a better place, to where I am now. Good luck, and I hope to hear more about your journey.

  2. Some changes really are good. I'm finding that out myself lately. I'm a new follower from blog frog. Come on over and follow me too.