Friday, February 18, 2011

Leaving the thirties behind

It is now time to part ways with another decade of my life. Gone are the thirties and hello to a new beginning with the forties. Only a short couple of hours away. Once upon a time {ugh} forty would have seemed so old. Now I see it with a different set of eyes. I am not afraid. I am trying to not look back with much regret, but with the ability to relish the memories. However, definitely wishing that I had had the wisdom to which I now possess.

It is easy to say that my thirties were...what many might say...a wild ride. Gaining a career, moving to Texas, raising my son, infertility, having four beautiful girls come and go from our life, years of a spouse in school, a relationship that has been tested more than I can say, and lastly losing myself along the way.

My health is good (I am more fit than I have been in years) and I don't think I look all that bad. I am ready to see what this next chapter will bring. Maybe that last line was a little lie {sigh}. I am not ready to set my son free and be left without his daily presence. I am totally clueless to what I will do with having a quiet and lonely home. I do not know who I am or how to bring that person back once more.

The only thing that I am confident about is the clock is not stopping and time goes more quickly than we usually want. When one day I awoke only to wonder like the verse from a Talking Heads song..."you may ask yourself, well how did I get here?"  And quietly ask myself...where am I now going.


  1. I think women do 40 better than men. Nathan will be missed by all of us when he is away at school. (I know not as much as you will) But there will be be things to keep you busy.

  2. Happy Birthday Kelly, I can't believe my lil niece is 40. We are in the same boat this year loosing our babies and becoming empty nesters. I have loved my 40's and I'm sure you will too. Love you

  3. First of all, Happy Birthday Kelly! Forty is a milestone, for sure, and I was the same way about getting older. I look back know and wish I knew then what I know now :) Ha! It's all part of the journey, I guess, living our lives, learning, loving, and losing. Have a wonderful birthday!