Friday, June 24, 2011

18 years ago today

Eighteen years ago today, I gave birth to a wonderful little baby boy. I remember how happy I was to find out that we were expecting....and after nine months of a somewhat hard pregnancy to hold him in my arms. How beautiful my little Nathaniel J. was. 

Oh the lessons that I would soon learn. The life experiences that were gained and lost all over this period of time.

Little did I know back then that Nathan would be my one and only. The things that I would have done differently. I am guessing that is why we don't know what the future holds. 

For most of this young mans life, I struggled with the demon of trying to expand our family. Focusing on this and probably missing many little things. Not realizing that for a span....we didn't even have a camera. The years of juggling motherhood and a job....and then later school in this mix. 

My joys and regrets were so ingrained in me, that I spent as much time with him and his activities the past 4-5 years, that I am now feeling lost. Very reflective. Often full of What Ifs. Hoping that as Nathaniel grows older, he will later understand everything that I did....forgive me for my flaws...and most importantly know the love that I have for him.

Happy 18th birthday my son!


  1. Nathan knows how much he is loved, and that is all that matters. You are an incredible mother. Thanks for sharing those sweet pictures. ADORABLE!!!

    Wow...18! CRAZY!!!

  2. Nate is a great kid-you have done a great job with him. You have always been so caring and loving to him. Any kid would be so lucky to have a mom like you.