Seventeen Years Today

Nathaniel: meaning- a gift from God

Nathaniel...maybe a couple months old

Seventeen years today, I was blessed to become a mommy to this wonderful baby. On this day, it never would have entered my mind that this little angel would be my one and only. To be a first born like both his father and mother. The first of all the cousins. The first boy out of six boy grandkids. This was Nathans time to shine. To inherit all of the attention. Complete and utter spoildness.

On this day and the days to come, I would have never imagined all the emotions that I would experience. The lessons of being a mother that would be learned. The memories that would become engraved somewhere in this head of mine.

Nathaniel...17 today

Oh how time flies....way to quick for me. My baby is a baby no more. Almost a man, who is ready to leave his nest and make a path of his own. I wish I could keep him close to me forever....but I am smart enough to know that our relationship one day will have to change. Tonight I can not think about that. It is a moment to enjoy and reflect.

I have grown just as he has. No longer a young mother, but one who has learned that mommyhood did not come with a how to manual. Mistakes have been made and forgiveness has been learned. Special memories to be remembered more than others. A fondness for Thomas the Tank Engine will forever make me reflect of the many hours we played on the floor. The way Nathan taught me to play Pokemon Cards. The time when he disappeared and was to be found at a park after following much older kids. All the lunches that he and I have shared over the years. The hours spent at swim meets. These are just a few of the times that I love to remember.

Nathaniel has brought me an unconditional love that I would have never been able to fathom. I am so thankful to Heavenly Father for this gift which I was given. I never would have fully understood how the meaning of his name would fit so well. A gift Nathaniel truly has and forever will be.

My Son

It is officially the last moments of Nathaniel being a minor (per the state of Texas). My baby is no longer a baby. Tomorrow he turns 17. How time flies! Nate (as he likes to be called), has been a joy, a trial, an ongoing lesson, a miracle, the adjectives can go on. Man...how I love my son.

There are many things about Nathan that contribute to who he is. Some of these traits drive me absolutely batty. Others I just completely relish. Either way...they make up who he is...and for this moment I want to share just a little.

• the music he listens to is great most of the time
• he has always been smart and inquisitive
• a gaming geek
• he is a natural leader
• completely loves his doggy
• eats up historical facts like its nothing
• adventure is in his blood and sometimes he actually knows it
• he is a carnivore (hopefully one day he will try a fruit or veggie)
• drives a way cool car
• is a swimmer
• loyal to his buddies
• likes to have mom and son lunches
• almost an Eagle Scout (even if his mom did have to push it)
• pretty laid back
• sometimes a loner
• learned to bake a chocolate cake from scratch when he was around nine
• hates trees and not a fan of the green movement
• he will always have a soft spot for Pokemon and Mario Brothers

This is Nathaniel. My son. And I sure love him. Happy early birthday my love!

Happy Dads Day Dads

There are a few dads that I would like to let know how glad I am that they are apart of my life...my dad (Larry), my dad-in-law (Larry) and my husband. Pictures and a few select reasons why they are important to me:

My dad

* he is my dad

* he is very handy and helps with projects and duties that either I can not do or find very unappealing

* he helped my son build my deck that I oh so love

* he mows my yard in horrible Texas heat and humidity (and likes it)

* he lived with three daughters

* he is a fantastic grandpa to all the grand kids

* he has learned patience over his years

* I'm sure there are many more reasons why I love my dad

Steve and Nathaniel

* he helped me create our son

* he tries his best to be the best dad he can be

* he has many things in common with Nathaniel that I just do not get

* he helped detox and love our sweet Miranda and then comforted me when she was no longer with us

* he is a great uncle to all the kids

Larry (dad-in-law)

* he helped create my husband
* he loves me like his own daughter
* he is a great man to be able to say I know
* he has helped us out many times over the years
* he is an awesome grandpa
* he is very talented and is spending some of his golden years being an extra in films and commercials
* again, there are many more reasons that I could list...but the blog would never come to an end

Water Time

I had been waiting for the opportunity to be at the water park when Nathaniel was working. I could not wait to have the opportunity to snap a few photos. Today was that day...and well...it was not as easy as I was hoping to get some good up close- in- action shots.

Scanning his part of the pool

watching over the wave pool with the waves in motion

walking past mom with his annoyed look

As I watched my son (and when we talk about his work days), I am often totally amazed at how he has grown up. No longer my little boy, but close to being a man. I see how he handles the responsibilities this summer job and am convinced that his parents must have done something right.

I once lifeguarded at a city pool...much smaller and easier to watch than this big, meandering and wavy place. My biggest worry was keeping kids from running, slipping on the pavement, and monitoring a diving board. Nathans...well...mass crowds, lots of tubes, people of all ages and sizes, slides, kiddie land...and sometimes, some really dumb people. Maybe, as I ask my son thousands of questions and enjoy watching him work, I am, just a little, living vicariously again through him (only at a much more intense level).

For the past three Fridays (and many more to come), I have spent many hours in an inner tube with Axel on my lap and my mom at my side. We have ventured in the utter coolness of water meandering through the lazy river. Conquering the sun beating down on us while floating in the wave pool. Helping Axel learn to get over his fear of the water slides and down pouring of water in certain areas. And relishing in the moments of lovely conversation while watching a little boy enjoy the simple pleasures of summer at a water park.

These are the days that I look forward to and help me get through long shifts at work and the occasional dark times that haunt me from time to time. For these are the moments I get to relish watching my son grow in this part of his life. I can forget that another child never came my way as I become completely exhausted with my Friday pal. I get to have some time in the sun and water which I have always loved. And on many of these days, I get to have the time with my mom (and dad sometimes too).

Mother encouraging abortion?

As if it was not enough that I was working my third night shift in a row...I was working with nurses who I have not worked with in years. Not that I have a problem with this...but it ended up being the conversation which I would first over hear, then partake in and the actions I would then witness. A bit more than my eyes and ears could bear.

The topic started off with my first overhearing my coworker tell another..".my teenage daughter is pregnant". Other worker..."oh, i am sorry. is she excited and going to keep the baby".

Coworker 1, "I am too young to be a grandma... I can't handle this. She needs to take care of this now". Worker 2, "wow, maybe you need to process this all first. What does your daughter want"?

Coworker 1, "she doesn't want to keep it. pretending like its nothing. I told her she needs to have an abortion. Then she got mad at me for calling it an abortion". Some time goes on, coworker tells everyone. Many opinions are given, with the majority saying to think about this, have daughter seek counseling, adoption and such. Coworker in mean time is researching and calling women's health clinics for daughter.

A quiet time comes upon us and I decide to tell coworker about our history of trying to adopt without success, foster care trials, etc. I also explained the many options and amounts of families that would love to work with girls/grandmas to be given the opportunity to adopt. Resistance was not met, however, coworker replied "I think my daughter has been drinking", "what family would want this baby". Not fighting for me, but for this unborn child and the many families that may never be chosen, again encouraged her to have daughter talk with an adoption counselor as maybe this could be an answer.

This just was one too many hours of listening and watching that I could almost handle. I would never tell a women what she can and can not do (even though I personally do not believe in abortion). I was just in disbelief at how casual a personal and controversial decision like this could be thrown into a work place and told to anyone who would listen. To see my coworkers sadness cloud any thinking and ability to help her daughter search for the right answer.

A sad tomato day

Was it a bug or bird...I will never really know. All I am sure of is that I have been giving this tomato plant lots of love and attention for weeks now. I have watered it daily per the instruction. And even fed it with miracle grow once a week. I was filled with excitement when my first bloom blossomed into a baby tomato. So imagine my disappointment when I went to water today and I saw that some creature decided to feast upon my one ten dollar tomato (no other bloom has yet to blossom).