Seasons.....a word that will not leave my head. As I worked in my yard today, the phrase "a time for different seasons" kept having me reflect on where I am now and what season/s I am currently in. I discovered that I am in a combination of many seasons. A mixture of times all attempting to mesh together .
I am in the horrible season of life where weight gain is happening. So sad.....I used to be able to eat anything and as much as I wanted. And if I did need to drop a pound or two, it was not a big deal. Then something this past year happened and I can not pinpoint the exact cause. Is it that I am approaching the big 40? Is it from my hysterectomy and the changes that have occurred from that? Or can it be from the stress my body has endured from years of working night shift? And, lets not forget that I like to eat. Food and I are real good friends.....sigh.
I am also in the Spring season. Full of energy and ready to conquer many tasks. Ready to enjoy the moment of the here and now. Making sure that I relish the beauty of life....and at the same time...trying to discover who I really am. For the first time in a couple of years, I had the desire to work in my yard. To enjoy the fresh outdoors (without worrying about my lungs)....to create a lovely piece of heaven on earth that surrounds me while lounging on my patio. Then there is the singing phrase that keeps popping into my head "love is in the air". Oh how I want to return to a young love.
Then there is the season of adjusting to my son becoming a man and the reality of knowing in a very short time that I will be considered an empty nester. A phrase the rings a horrible sound to my sensitive ears. Thus, leading me to overcompensate for not having any other children and throwing myself into as many of his activities to which he will allow.
Now, my seasons are not all doom and gloom, but do contain much conflict. Some of which is out of my control. For example: I believe Steve is in the season of summer....unbearbly hot, humid and quite frankly out of energy most of the time. So overwhelmed that he is not able to stop and enjoy those things that are most important in the here and now. He is caught up in the stale summer Texas heat and is unable to take a moment to smell the lovely arouma of my spring. Then there is my teen....trying to discover who he really is...and while doing this...pushing the boundaries...to see how much he can get away with. To test my patients...or maybe to help me realize that children are supposed to grow up and leave.
Different seasons of life are normal. I am finding that it is important to discover how to change with them and enjoy what that particular time may bring. To understand that each season may offer something new or old and normal to our life. To know that a mature love sometimes endures different seasons at one time...and to await peacefully for the seasons to once again come together (or otherwise for the storm to pass). And finally, to recognize that a good mother and son relationship will always remain strong if it was strong and loving from the start.