Thursday, April 22, 2010

The Things We Do For Love

This book by Kristen Hannah caught my attention one day at the local Costco and I finally had time to read it. I found this story to be a quick and enjoyable read. I could hardly put it down. I was grateful that I was unable to work and spent most of yesterday with my nose in the book. So one might wonder what I found so intriguing about the words I read...

It has been a long time since I felt as if I could relate on a deep level to someone or something. And in this instance, it was a someone in a fictional story. So much of what I feel or have experienced was in print before my eyes. The words and the topic so eloquently made into a story that portrayed the scenarios that unfortunately too many women and couples have experienced.

For years, tears and sadness flooded my life, marriage and family. Those around me often walked on pins and needles when certain topics came up. The love that was once in abundance between two people bacame heavily strained. I changed, my husband changed and the life we always predicted we would have took a serious beating. Unfortunately, somewhere along this journey, I failed to see that my partner might not handle these setbacks the way I would. We have been left scarred...once a team with a common purpose...now each trying to find their own path in the life that was created together.

I have grown and have worked towards healing/understanding in my own way. I focus on forgiveness for the harsh topics that became a curve ball in my once imagined life. I try to forget about those that failed my dreams. I have boggled my mind searching for what the future holds. And most of all, I have tried to renew the once so obvious love that Steve and I had.

I connected so well with the story and often dream of having a happy ending (not necessarily like the one in this book). Becoming a confident woman. Being part of a  love that was able to overcome such sorrow. A realization of what is trully important before it is really too late. I dream of this often. This happy ending has not yet presented itself to me nor has this journey of love and life yet come to an end. When I reflect on where Steve and I are at this time, I can not see a new/old beginning in sight.....and yet I continue to hope and fight for me and us. Hoping one day that I will no longer be seen as broken or bitter and that there may be forgiveness towards me for all my errors along this way.

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